I woke up this morning feeling relaxed, refreshed, and just pretty darn good. I lay in bed for a few minutes staring at the ceiling, just allowing my thoughts to wander, when I realized that I have actually been sleeping really well for the past couple of weeks.
As always, there are plenty of things on my mind, and we know that our thoughts can prove very distracting and can really impact our restful sleep. Last Sunday night, I stayed up to watch the end of the Euro Final, which went to extra time and penalties. Thus, it was late when I went to bed, and because of the dramatic events in the final, I found it difficult to fall asleep; I was pretty wound up because of the tension (I find penalty shootouts extremely nerve wracking, even if I am a neutral observer).
It is not always the case, but frequently well intended, positive statements have an opposite effect on me. For example, when someone simply says, "Don't get nervous," directly before I have to do any public speaking, or have a job interview, or any activity that involves an opportunity to be very self-conscious, I tend to get particularly flappy and extra nervous, which can be very frustrating.
Other examples include when someone says, "Don't screw this up," or "Hey, do not miss your penalty kick."
Yep, you can imagine what happens next: a huge cock up, and regarding the shot, the ball goes over the bar or directly into the keeper's hands.
I have always been fascinated by the statement "break a leg," in the theater world, noting that an element of superstition is involved. How well the statement works, I have no idea, but people have been saying it for almost 100 years, so there must be something to it.
Of course, when it comes to nighty-night, and the fact that I live on my own, it is less frequent for me to hear (or say) "Sleep well!" before bedtime. Maybe after a late night out at the pub or a restaurant, I might receive "Schlaf gut!" from someone as we go our separate ways and head home to bed. Sure, my folks would tell me to have a nice sleep as they finished a bedtime story and tucked me in, but that was obviously a long time ago.
Unlike penalty kicks or public speaking, when someone DOES tell me to sleep well, I do not experience the extreme opposite. Thus, upon hearing a polite adieu, (like from the pleasant night clerk at the hotel who says goodnight as you walk upstairs to your hotel room) I do not necessarily sleep more restlessly or endure scarier than normal nightmares. At least I do not remember doing so. I simply sleep.
Obviously there are several factors involved in getting a good nights sleep. My point here is that for me it all comes down to what I am thinking about, and how I am dealing with those thoughts.
The particular significance about my couple of weeks of noticeably good, restful sleep is the fact that I am not allowing my thoughts to get the best of me. And I am not thinking about things too much. In short, I am not trying too hard to deliberately get a restful sleep, but instead just allowing things to happen.
This is not certainly to say that I am not deeply troubled by the reaction of fans to the young players who did not convert their penalty kicks last Sunday evening. Or the tragic events this week in Germany and Belgium where suddenly towns and people have just been washed away. Or the passing of a close family friend a few days ago, a friend who was extra close to my sister. All of these things are weighing heavily on my mind. Add in the routine pressures of work and every day life, and one might conclude that is was tough week.
And it was a tough week, but one that I accept. I think this acceptance, simply taking it as it comes, enabled me to sleep with a better peace of mind.
Trivialities like having to endure another 400 grams of coffee beans that are not performing so well in my espresso machine is irritating, but will soon be a thing of the past. It seems so insignificant in comparison to the other recent events, but it is still a thing.
How I choose to think about these things and allow them to impact me is my own decision, so I am going to keep on being B and getting my ZZZs.
see you out there
bryan
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