Tuesday, August 09, 2016

Finally Learning a Native Trick

"Pop!"

During summer, spending as much time outside as possible is key.  Socializing with friends over a few beers in the evening makes for a very pleasant pastime.   On Monday evenings, probably for the past 6 years or so, I have been meeting up with a few friends to enjoy a couple of bottles of beer.  The tradition kind of started between a few guys who are old friends, but don't live in the same part of the city, but they all make it a point to meet up once a week.   Those from the old days in Dallas will recall Wednesday night happy hour, where we would gather at the Old Monk each Wednesday to trade stories about how the week was going.   Kiosk Abend is basically the same thing, 

Kiosks are very common in the city, and I tend to visit the one down my street frequently, or at least when I am buying cigarettes.  Everyone in the community has a similar routine, whether it be for chewing gum, or their weekly magazine or newspaper, or whatever.  Papri, the lady who runs the kiosk near me, is very nice, and she is a fixture in the community. 

Most kiosks, like Papri's, are very small; there is only a little window where you can order what you need.  However, there is usually a little counter, and if you ever felt like having a beverage right there on the premises, you are more than welcome.  For someone who grew up in a place where this is totally not allowed, it is a bit of a novelty, but it retains it's charm, all the same. 

So, each Monday night, four of us tend to gather right out front of Papri's kiosk, order a round of bottled beer, and basically stand on the street and experience the world.  All the restaurants in the vicinity (there are probably 12 or so right there) have patios, and as you can imagine during the warmer months, there are a lot of people hanging around outside.  People are out strolling around, stopping by the ice cream parlor, and simply enjoying the evening.  Like I said, it is our standing engagement, and because it is smack in the middle of the neighborhood, we see loads of people walking up and down the street that we know.

Although Papri has a bottle opener, she will only open the bottles when asked; most of the time folks just grab their bottle of beer and go.  For the four of us, we consume right there on the spot, but since all the guys are German, they have a capability that has always been beyond me.  They have simply been able to open a beer bottle with a cigarette lighter.

This may seem like a small, insignificant thing.  In fact, it is the easiest way to tell if you are a native or not.  I may have close to 30 years experience drinking beer out of bottle, but I only have a few years experience drinking out of a bottle that was not a twist-off.

I pause for a moment and reflect on the irony.   When I was a 16 year old high school student, one of the organizations sold bottle opener key chains with the school mascot printed on it to the students.  Sure, every high school student was underage, but each and every one of us had a very useful tool.   (The irony within the irony is that during this time, most high school students were drinking canned beer anyway, and if there were bottles, then they were twist-off.)  The point is, no one was ever going to be stuck for being able to open a bottle.

When I went to college, I had one European classmate who showed us the trick of using a cigarette lighter to open a bottle of beer.  By this time, we were getting more and more into import beers, which did require the use of a bottle opener, but I still managed to have my little key chain from high school, so I was never really stuck.

Keg parties and pitchers of beer never required a bottle opener, and again, most of the time we ordered long necks, they would come with twist-off tops.  Truthfully, I never really gave it much thought.

That is, until I moved to Germany and found, to my chagrin, that I couldn't fucking open a bottle of beer with a bic lighter.  True, most of the beer halls and pubs that I go in serve beer from tap.  However, at any picnic, cookout, evening at the kiosk, or any other opportunity to stand around outside drinking from a bottle, you need to have a bottle opener, or you are stuffed. 

It is considered proper etiquette to open someone's bottle before opening yours.  For years, I have had to stand around looking like a complete complete dink because I was unable to quickly pop open a bottle or two for someone.   Sometimes, people would hand me a lighter, then watch as I struggled to effectively do a small physics project in vain.   "Here, let me do it," is usually what someone would say within seconds of seeing me in my agony.

One particular friend as been more than patient, and has tried repeatedly to teach me how to do this properly.  Still no luck.

As I do not keep beer at home, I don't get that many opportunities to practice.  Until last night.

I don't know if it was boredom or what, but finally one of the guys said, "C'mon, let's do this," and the three of them proceeded to give me coaching and guidance as I opened each bottle.  We didn't start until the second round, but that still meant that I had to open 8 bottles over the course of the next hour or so. 

Yep, there was some rolling of eyes, some sheepish grinning (on my part), and maybe a couple of phrases that aren't particularly polite in neither German nor English, but I FINALLY got the hang of this task.

With some whoops, pats on the back and all round great relief, I believe I have turned a significant corner.
I already am a little concerned about next Monday, but I think I am whisker away from being just as "profi" as those guys. 

OK, it is the little things in life, eh?

"Pop!"

see you out there
bryan