Saturday, July 14, 2007

The Heat is On

Well, after a rather cool few weeks and months in Frankfurt, it's finally gone and gotten a bit warm. Today's temp was around 30 degrees, and will be for the next several days. Mind you, nights do get cooler, closer to 20 degrees or so.

I've been delighted up til now, since I'm one that prefers to have things a bit chilly. In Spain, I understand that it's been dismally hot, like always during the summer months. I remember all the sweaty days I had over there last year. This year, today is the first day I've been uncomfortable. Still, a cool glass of beer or fifteen, and I'm sure things will be OK.

Two Saturday evenings ago, I sat down with my German teacher for the first time. We met from 8-10pm, then nipped over to the pub for a few cider. Last Saturday, I was sick, so begged out of class. Tonight, she hasn't come, so I'm taking advantage of the time to put up a quick post.

Frankly (I almost wrote Frankfurtly), I'm kind of glad to skip class tonight; I'm just not feeling like studying. That was a bit of a concern I had initially, the loss of motivation to have a class for two hours on a Saturday, but it was really the only time either of us had free. The class is important, and I don't want to lose momentum after our first class.

The decision to start private lessons came in a couple of waves. First, I just haven't had a lot of time to do self study. Yes, I do read textbooks and stuff on the commutes to and from work, but it's not as focused as it needs to be. Second, unfortunately there are still too many opportunities where Germans prefer to speak English with me instead of German. Yes, I know that there's really no excuse, but that's when I get lazy, especially with the current life zapper I'm putting up with doing the job.

I don't try to beat myself up too much about the lack of German I've got under my belt. I realize that I've only been here 8 months, and this language is not the most straightforward. From those that I've talked to, a lot of Germans don't even speak correctly. I have several colleagues who speak German, but according to actual German colleagues, their German is really a mix of German and their own native tongue; in some cases this is Russian, Italian, etc. So, maybe I'm not nearly as far behind as I thought.

During my commutes, I tend to spend a lot of time observing and reflecting about all the different experiences. The mornings at the U-Bahn are sort of interesting, as everyone seems to be a bit grumpy, including myself. At first, I thought it was just the early morning; I mostly try to catch the 7am to the train station. Recently, I've had to travel a bit later, and I've discover that everyone appears just as grumpy. I'm quite sure that they all can't be as unhappy as I am (with work), so I continue to wonder.

I actually prefer the time waiting at the train platform in the Hauptbahnhof. I see the same people every day, and everyone has their little routine, their favorite coffee kiosk, their favorite place to stand waiting for the train, etc. There are one or two people from my neighborhood in Frankfurt that actually make the whole commute with me, from Bornheim to Darmstadt. I've never spoken with any of them, but we all seem to acknowledge each other along the way.

The sun is starting to set, and I'm up for heading next door for a little dinner and celebration of the barman's birthday. Should be a decent night out.

cheers
bryan

Sunday, July 08, 2007

Good Grief, Davy Jones' Locker Really Sucks!

Holy shit. I continue to be wrapped around the axle with the job; June was more difficult for me than May. In fact, I felt a little like I'd been stuck in some crazy ass locker, and I'm quite sure Keira Knightley wasn't trying to come save me.

I'm not actually sure that a visit from Keira Knightley would help all that much, though I'm certainly willing to find out.

Honestly, I reached certain lows over the past month where I almost chucked everything. Certain aspects of the job just aren't worthwhile, and my mental and physical health has really taken a hit. My confidence got blown away after a couple of meetings with my customer, one of which was in Brussels.

I think I freaked my mom out, as well as my sister, but truth be told, I've done a fair number on myself, never mind anyone else.

A couple of weeks ago, I sat by myself in the pub, just having some beers and trying to make sense of it all, determine my next steps. After a few pints, I apologized to my friends for being anti-social, then left the pub in a very dark mood. I really thought I'd have to take some drastic measures, but unfortunately, was feeling a bit short on plans B, C or D.

It's funny how this goes, though. Half the time I don't know whether I'm coming or going. I've got colleagues who are leaving cos they're sick of the rot. Me, I'm choosing to stick it out and see how it goes, all for rather strange reasons.

For example, because my train was late one morning, I got to the station too late to catch the bus, so had to take a taxi. The driver recognized me, and said how much he had enjoyed our conversation the last time I'd been in this situation, which had been several months back. He's a really good guy, and I was touched that he thought so highly of our 10 minute conversation from early April.

I've never had an experience quite like that, something so simple as a taxi man who appreciates me enough to offer a 1/2 price fare from Darmstadt to Frankfurt, normally a 75 Euro trip. He's basically told me that anytime I need a taxi, call him.

I met a delightful girl the other week who speaks remarkably good English and Spanish, and she happens to be German. We've had a couple of nice conversations, and perhaps we'll have a few more sometime soon. It was nice and refreshing to meet someone so nice, and it gave me reason to smile, which is something that just hasn't happened all that frequently in the past few months.

The girl that cuts my hair complimented me on my German the other day, which was another nice thing, especially since my German teacher also gave me a couple of compliments a little bit later that same afternoon. I'm making bits of progress with my umlauts and "ccchh" sounds.

Everything about this experience in Germany has been pretty cool, with the only dark point being the job. It's not so much the job that's the problem; it's the fact that I've got to do so many jobs that is making things so difficult. I can't wear 4 or 5 hats, I can't do all of the tasks that I'm forced to do, at least not without dropping a lot of balls along the way.

The job caught up with me physically; I've been down with a bad cold all weekend, but after taking it easy and watching three seasons of Beverly Hills 90210 on some website, I feel like the right thing to do is to psych up and continue to get this account sorted out. We'll start that first thing on Monday morning.

I've not had much time to get upset about the departure of Thierry Henry from Arsenal. He's left the club and will play at Barcelona starting this August. I guess I wish him the best, but it's the transfer window that sort of pisses me off about European football; players say they'll stay at a club forever, then leave the very next season. Bugger. Thank goodness I didn't put in an order for the new Arsenal away kit with Henry on the back of it; I would have had a boring collector's item that cost way too much.

During the roller coaster of June, I did manage to see a couple of films, including that Pirates of the Caribbean stuff, and wow, that could have been a whole lot better, no? More entertaining for me was finding a Russian website where I could pull down a few mp3 albums for about 1.12 usd. I never thought I'd have Seal's greatest hits, but it was the right price, you know? Besides, it brought back a few great memories of college, including one fine afternoon on top of some deck where we all enjoyed quite a few beers while sitting in the sun.

The memory was triggered because one of the guys that was there now works in Brussels for Stella Artois, and I certainly would have called him the other week had I not been getting the crap beat out of me by my customer.

I feel out of touch right now, and that sucks. Unfortunately, I'm a bit isolated, and a bit behind on emails, phone calls, and stories. I do appreciate the inquiries and the hellos, they do mean a lot, particularly in these fab times I seem to be experiencing at the moment.

So, I'm off to have a coffee and do a little work. I hope desperately to be able to write a few more pieces in the coming weeks; it's surreal to live in a neighborhood where some men sit out in the square at 7am sipping vodka out of little bottles, and I think it deserves a whole story.

Here's hoping that I'm not on track to becoming one of those guys.

Thanks a lot for the support, particularly from my sister. Go wondertwins.

cheers
bryan

soundtrack:
Alkaline Trio - Remains (full album) (you probably could listen to it three or four times over)