Bryanman was nowhere to be seen earlier this morning when I was making the first espresso shots of the day. Instead, BadbaristaB suddenly appeared and used the milk frothing pitcher to knock over the espresso cup, spilling all the beautiful coffee along the counter and on to the kitchen floor.
Damn.
I swore to myself as I hastily tried to clean up the spill and grind new bean for the do-over, focusing more on the espresso shot than the mopping. I was irritated that I wasted valuable coffee, particularly since the shots looked so great.
Fortunately I was able to smile a few minutes later as I took my first sip, enjoying the fresh taste and the warmth of the mug in my hands. I stood on my balcony and just listened to the silence of another quiet Sunday morning.
It was only 8am, but I felt that things were a bit more quiet than usual, but understandably so. I appreciate that most of my neighbors are all doing pretty much what I am doing, which is staying at home. Of course, this is the norm for most Sunday mornings, but I was feeling the need to hear other people, albeit from a distance.
For a few minutes, absolutely nothing happened, and I stood looking at the blue sky, feeling glad that I had put on a sweater to provide some warmth against the chilly wind. Then, a leaf blew onto my shoulder and I just about lost the second cup of coffee of the day.
Yep, I am feeling a little wound up, pissed off, and irritated about a lot of things.
As is everyone, I can imagine.
No one likes being cooped up at home, even if it this right thing to do at this time.
For the past week, I have avoided the press as much as possible, simply because it can easily, and here I will borrow a quote from Ali, "unleash the scorpions in the head."
Here we are, living a Stephen King book come to life, and it is natural to have really dark thoughts; the anxiety and uncertainty are unbelievable.
Rather than sit down and make a big list of all things that are driving me nuts (though I will probably do that exercise at some point in the near future, just because it is a helpful exercise), today I have spent more time making a list of all the cool things that have happened in the past couple of weeks, recognizing that it is important to appreciate what we have, and what we are experiencing.
For example, this past week I spent some time working through the hand-over of my job responsibilities with a colleague. I haven't worked with this colleague much before, and in our first telephone conversation I realized that she does not have a great deal of experience with the tasks that I need to hand over to her. So, I had to adjust my knowledge sharing process and have managed to help provide her with some basic knowledge that I know will help her take on the imminent challenge with a better chance of being successful. In short, I am having to be a teacher who has to train someone on how to do a job I have done for the past 10 years.
This is not what I had initially expected to have to do as I prepare for my company exit. But, our manager made a last minute personnel change, which is why I am no longer handing over my tasks to another experienced service manager who could almost immediately pick up where I am leaving off.
I am taking the experience to be a positive one, as I have to refresh myself on all the stuff (and how I learned it throughout my career) and figure out a way to shorten my replacement's learning curve from x years to a couple of weeks.
I know I can do it.
As much as I miss heading off to the pub or somewhere in the evenings to socialize and hang out, I am patting myself on the back for enjoying the break from the hops. Last year I took a few months' break from beer, and I had already planned for a similar abstinence this year. Perhaps it comes a little earlier than I had envisioned, but the more I think about it, it's as good a time as any. And, as I have skipped the beer during the past week, I notice again how much alcohol can impact sleeping habits.
And now, of all times, is exactly when I want to be sleeping more restfully and, when possible, peacefully.
Meanwhile, again, presumably like many other people at this time, I am watching way more silly stuff on television than I would have imagined. True, I am still reading a shit load, but am also on track to watch a whole lot of ridiculous movies, mixed in with some really excellent broadcasting. The other night, I watched an Australian movie about a teenager who found he had a natural talent at racing go-carts. The story is reminiscent of The Karate Kid, albeit on a small racing track, and, well, let's just say that it was a light way to spend 90 minutes not thinking about the state of the world but instead to think about how a six year old some how got their hand written short story adapted to a made for TV movie. Chalk one up for the young ones.
Somewhat more encouraging is the fact that I have watched a handful of German mini-series, most of which I have found quite fascinating. As a bonus, I am improving my ability to differentiate regional accents. Just last evening, I listened to a rural Bavarian farmer and at the end of the movie, I realized that I understood almost every word he said as he mistreated other villagers and family members.
Educational entertainment. It's the little things, right?
Seriously, I notice that my ear is getting tuned to the German language. Rather than feel upset that it has taken 14 years, I will just appreciate that it is coming at all. Sometimes when I am watching German broadcasting, I repeat certain words and phrases out loud from the safety of my recliner. Watching a variety of programming (from romantic comedies starring some ridiculously pretty movie star to gritty war films to dark crime shows) is giving me additional exposure to the German language, and now, more than ever, I feel like I am understanding some of the pronunciation better.
This includes Umlauts, one of the more challenging elements of the German language.
So, in between shows (and sometimes during), I am practicing my pronunciation, and one of these days when we are allowed to go outside and play again, I might get to see if my practice is paying off.
I am choosing to believe so, and right now, I welcome every single thing that helps me keep the faith.
I like trading the texts with the friends and family, and likewise chatting on the phone with friends. We at least are reminded that we are not all going through this time in life alone.
As it approaches lunchtime in my neighborhood, I am glad to see some neighbors across the Hof sitting on their balcony with their coffees. We wave to one another, and I can see that they are equally comforted to know that other people are going about their lives, even from a distance.
Now, I am going to sign off and tickle the ivories. Piano practice is another thing that is helping me in interesting times. Little known fact: arpeggios are the music equivalent to Umlauts, and need to be practiced.
"He just made that up, right?" says a reader to himself.
Bryanman strikes again...
keep the faith
bryan
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