Ok, here is something you won’t see me write very often: Last Friday, I was listening to the Ticket…
Sr. Pascal sent a quick email out on Friday morning (my afternoon) indicating that one of guys was going to give his update on his feelings about soccer. After the World Cup, he made the decision to select a team in the English league and follow them through the entire season. As luck would have it, he chose to follow Arsenal. While somewhat indifferent to his selection (the fact that I am a fan of the club, too, is irrelevant), I did recognize that he would likely learn to appreciate the finer points of the game by watching that particular team.
Well, after sitting through 10 minutes of advertisements, I finally got to listen to his broadcast. He pointed out that he was really looking forward to this past weekend, not because of other sports being played, but because of two things: Arsenal vs. Tottenham (local derby), and the MLS final, which was to be between FC Dallas and the Colorado Rapids. He was pretty excited about both events, and relayed his appreciation to his fellow colleagues on air. The style of the EPL was exciting, and totally enjoyable, particular the passing. Additionally, he commented on the fact that finally, after all these years, Dallas would be in the final for the first time.
I was glad to tune in to the broadcast, though I don’t particularly feel the need to tune in again anytime soon, no offense to the station or the guy in particular. However, I did admire his enthusiasm for the whole bit, particularly having to get up at 6.30am on Saturday morning to catch the Arsenal match. I had to do that myself for a really long time, and as fun as it was sometimes, it is kind of nice being able to watch them in local time, at a reasonable hour.
Later that afternoon, I told a fellow Arsenal fan about the radio show from my home town, and also excitedly pointed out that finally the Burn was going to the final, though likely to an attendance of maybe 15000 people. That is a bit sad, particularly since the second professional team here in Frankfurt plays about 500 meters from my apartment, and their average attendance is close to that week in week out, and they play in the second division.
At any rate, I too, was pretty enthused about the weekend of football, but 12 hours later I was outside the pub feeling pissed off that Arsenal had just lost the match to their biggest rivals. It certainly wasn’t the first time I have watched my team lose, and it certainly wasn’t the end of the world, but it still sucks.
I woke up this morning, and was a bit disappointed to check the results of the MLS final (played last night, but too late for me, being as it was played in Toronto), seeing that Dallas had lost in extra time. An own goal, no less. I do hope that the guy from the radio station recognizes that at the end of the day, you just have to say, „Well, that is football, for you. “ Hopefully it did not ruin his weekend.
As for me, my weekend was pretty crap on all fronts, even without the dismal football results. I found myself experiencing a ton of self doubt towards the end of the week, and that continued right through the weekend. It was a bit scary, I must say. Throw in a bit of anxiety, a loss of appetite, and a few shitty thoughts, and come Saturday evening, I was a bit of a disaster.
In efforts to stop the madness, I turned to reading philosophy, and did manage to bang out a few hundred pages, which helped immensely. I certainly needed the reminder, the points to reflect on, to help myself realize (not for the first time and not for the last) that this is all part of it. Every day is not going to be so spectacularly zippy; sometimes it is just going to downright suck.
I took a break from reading on Saturday evening to watch an action comedy movie on television. That somewhat helped my mood, but it was short-lived: the movie that came on immediately after was the Excorcist…
Sure, I did not sleep much over the weekend, and struggled greatly to get to the gym, hoping to keep one of the pillars in check. Sunday afternoon, I took a stroll around the streets, and found myself back in a little Chinese garden in the middle of a park. I have visited this little sanctuary more and more often in the past couple of months. It is a nice place to sit and collect one’s thoughts, and I had a lot of thoughts that needed collecting.
Later, I finished another CD compilation, and that helped me feel less out of sorts, though one will likely recognize that songs sort of illustrated my melancholy. That said, I listened several times through, and the songs were not only fitting, but helped to bring me back round. That is always how it seems to be for me. I have to sink pretty low before I come back up.
Hey ho, that is what life’s roller coaster is all about.
Fortunately, my spirits are reasonably back in form today. In a couple of days, I will shoot over to Spain for a bit of holiday, and in a few short weeks, I will be back stateside. I cannot tell you how much I am looking forward to seeing friends and family.
So, like Arsenal, I fully expect to bounce back this week, and no matter what their result happens to be, I will be chalking up another one for the W column. Nada que perder.
Keep the faith.
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