Psych it up, vol. 86

It's been a week of realizing the significance of letting go.

When I was given my notice a few weeks ago, I knew that it would be difficult, “tricky,” if you will, to maintain enough motivation to see things through to the end of the contract. However, I wasn’t quite ready for the strange feeling of being “in between.” Basically, I’m just going through the motions, as there’s not much to finish, and there is certainly nothing to start. Effectively, I’m no longer a part of this team.

What makes this a challenge is that I’m truly excited about the new challenges ahead, but, as I don’t particularly like good byes (even shitty ones), I’m feeling a bit stuck. Spending eight hours watching a clock during the work day doesn’t give one a zippy feeling in which to go home and spend another few hours hitting the bricks; chasing new opportunities.

Fortunately, I’m about four weeks away from an extended vacation, as I’ve got left over holidays that need to be taken before the end of my contract. Thus, I’m trying to keep the plans in motion for just a bit longer, knowing that I will have to really accelerate just as soon as I’ve put the current job behind me.

As I’ve said before, it’s going to be harder still, before it gets easy. Of course, that’s typically the story of my life, anyway. Thank goodness I accept that without question.

Meanwhile, I’m having to remind myself that when you let go of something or someone, like work, customers, friendships, etc., you really have to move in a new direction, regardless of the consequences. You can’t really have things both ways. That’s a pretty tough lesson that seems to take longer for me to fully understand.

Often, I need a bollocking or two (ok, about 18) before I come to terms with it, but that’s just part of the process.

So, I keep on finding things to believe in, ways to psych myself up, and ways to smile somewhat uniquely; I’m not really on my way out, I’m simply on my way.

Keep the faith.
bryan