Better Late than Never

Well, I am going to start off this week's update by relating a little story from when I was about 15 or 16. I was at a pool party playing frisbee with a friend of mine. He was at the shallow end of the pool, near the hottub, and I was at the deep end. As it turned out, everyone else at the party was in the hottub save for the two of us, though one shouldn't read too much into that. First off, it was a church youth party; it's not as if things were getting way out of hand, and furthermore, I was already the type of guy who would stand alone at the deep end.

Looking back, I do still smile at the humor of it all. It wasn't too funny at the time, but it wasn't so UNfunny, either, you know? I mean, how was I supposed to know that I would be able to zing the frisbee with such skill and inaccuracy that, instead of being caught in the hands of my buddy, it caught some poor girl three feet to his left right between her eyes. All things considered, it was somewhat unfortunate, since as soon as I saw what was going to happen, I yelled (something to the effect of) "fore!", and everyone else in the hottub sort of matrixed out of the way just in the nick of time, except, like I said, for the one girl who was a bit slow on the take.

Fortunately, she wasn't really hurt (kind of bonk on the head for a day or two, as I recall), though the whole thing did sort of put a damper on the rest of the evening. I felt truly horrible about it, and at the time really wanted to slip into the deep end and stay underwater until everyone went home. However, I managed to apologize somewhat feebly, and she more or less accepted that I had most certainly not intended for that to happen. Perhaps I could have been a bit more cognizant of the hazzards of summer sports (stay tuned for next week's bit, possibly entitled, "dang, we need to be more careful with the hacky sack on Bergerstrasse - I hope that little kid is ok.") but it really was just an accident.

True, this incident didn't scar me for life; I was already a fan of Joy Divison and also knew I'd always be something of an enigma. No surprise that some 25 years later, it's business as usual. I'm still fairly thoughtful, though that's not to say I don't still have my moments where I really wished I'd been a bit more, er, aware.

Take last weekend, for example. True, I was just back from an extended business trip and was having a bit of a struggle getting back into the swing of things. In all honesty, I felt a little like I had to get reaquainted with everything and everyone, and I was away for only two weeks. But, that's the feeling you get sometimes when you're an Auslaender. I can't use that as my sole excuse, since I'm not the greatest at accepting compliments, or simply saying, "thanks" when someone extends a very kind gesture to me.

Upon my return, I was sort of overwhelmed at the reception I got from folks who were glad to see me back in town. Throughout the weekend, people were giving me belated birthday greetings and otherwise simply saying hello and welcome back.

I got invited to brunch on Sunday morning via a text message that came late Saturday night, and I actually said that I'd be there. Sunday brunch in the neighborhood is sort of a regular thing here, just as going to the gym for on Sunday morning is for me. While I was a little curious about the invite at the time (normally it's just a planned event), I figured I would stop by for a coffee, which I kind of do from time to time, anway.

But, Sunday morning I woke up still feeling a bit strange, and decided that a bit more alone time would do me good. I trooped off to the gym and in short, missed the beginning of my suprise birthday brunch.

Had I carried my handy with me into the weight room, I might have reacted a bit sooner. Instead, post workout, I found 4-5 missed calls on my phone, and suddenly realized that I'd been a real jerk. A quick phone call to say, "I'm on my way," then I waited impatiently for the U-Bahn to get me back to my neighborhood.

I tried to act casual when I walked up to the table where some folks had gathered to wait for me, and, erm, have brunch. Out came a bit of Kuchen, complete with candles, and I felt like the world's biggest idiot.

Mostly everyone made sarcastic remarks about my tardiness, all of which I truly deserved. Thank goodness everyone was still rather friendly about things (in Germany, punctuality is key), but I knew well and good that I'd crossed the line; several people cared enough to organize a little gathering for me, and I basically blew it off.

I was kind of looking around for a swimming pool (particularly the deep end), but in the end made do with some Legos, a few leaves, and the extinguished birthday candles; I humbly, nervously played (ok, there was a 3 year old there, also) with the make shift toys as I tried to work through the awkwardness of being 2 hours late to my own party.

I'm rather fortunate to have a few people here who do care enough about me to sort of forgive my discourteousness. I certainly apologized, but know that I was let off lightly. (Probably a good thing that there wasn't a frisbee nearby...otherwise someone might have had a zing at me)

But, that's what happens when you allow people to get close to you. Funny how it's not always a two-way street, huh?

At any rate, the afternoon was quite nice, and I was really quite touched by the whole experience. I'm not a huge fan of my birthdays, as we all know. Thank goodness there are people out there who are above that, and that I know some of them.

Naturally, I was in a great mood as I went back to work on Monday (apart from the lingering embarrassment of the previous day's cock up), and found myself once again a bit overwhelmed when a few colleagues gave me a birthday card and a nice bottle of wine. "You're one of the best bosses that we've ever had, and we just wanted to say thanks and Happy Birthday."

As if that weren't enough, at the end of the weekly management meeting on Tuesday, my boss stood up and congratulated me on behalf of the company. My colleagues gave me an Arsenal jersey, which was totally unexpected and quite cool, too.

Thus, it has been kind of a fuzzy and very educational week. I had to sort out a problem for a customer who totally appreciated of my efforts and personal involvement, and then last night I was at, um, a birthday party (it's always easier for me to celebrate someone else) and, during a quiet moment, realized how great it is to see someone simply being gracious and appreciative, not to mention, on time.

So that's how you do it...

keep the faith
bryan