Falling on a Bruise

I Just had a chat with a friend who took advantage of something I said to zing me pretty good, enough to make me laugh out loud. It's not important what she said, nor was I really that surprised...just surprised to hear her statement out loud.

It got me to thinking. Here in Germany, I'm a little bit less of an enigma than I was in the states, though it's not as if I've become more open in the past years. I'm not sure what drives that. It's possible that some of the people that I know here are simply more perceptive, simply because there are more opportunities to interact. Here, you're likely going to see about 50 people you know just walking to the metro stop, whereas in the states you can sort of distance yourself from people, at least that's how I see it.

It's considered rude to walk by someone (that you know) without greeting them, and while that certainly exists in all societies, I've noticed it more here, particulary on those days when I'm not interested in seeing anyone (which is a lot). You simply have to smile and say hello, which I think is a really nice thing, even though sometimes I would prefer to be a bit more grouchy. Of course, it's not as if I'm wanting to be unfriendly, it's more with being simply caught up in my own thoughts, etc.

This week has been a bit interesting in this regard, interacting socially, I mean. Monday evening, I landed in Barcelona, and enjoyed a late night dinner of tapas across the street from Nou Camp. The staff at the restaurant appreciated (and noticed) my enthusiasm for being back in Spain, even in my Spanish wasn't perfect.

The next day, I met with a Spanish company about some business opportunities, and it was a really stressful, rewarding day. The people we met weren't very comfortable in English, and I was struggling in Spanish, but I think we all noticed that we all had the same desire to make it work, so we battled on and the communication sorted itself out. Funny, I got a more accepting feeling in Barcelona on a one day business trip than I did while living in Valencia. Before someone tries to make the argument that perhaps it was the fact that said company was trying to get some business from us (hence the delightful 8 course meal (complete with umpteen glassed of wine) we ate overlooking the water), I will comment that I believe they simply responded to the fact that I was trying to be real with them. Sure, I hiccupped a lot in Spanish, just as they did in English (which was a huge deal, cos' my German boss was there, calling the shots), but we found respect for one another; it was a really cool deal.

I dunno, maybe it's a sign that it's simply time to move on.

I've always liked being an enigma, and finding a way to stay somewhat distant from people. However, for some reason, in Germany (and perhaps it's simply the people that I've gotten to know), I know more people that have gotten a little close. I stop short of saying too close, but they've certainly found a way through the normal barriers that I've always used (with relatively decent success).

Kind of cool, and kind of scary, in a way. It's nice to know people, and it's nice to be known, and recognized. I'll never be famous, though I'll forever be recognizable, if that makes sense. Fuck it.

At any rate, this recent experience in Spain was really motivating, so it was a tough fall to take upon my return to Germany. Back in the office to get slammed, bopped around, and possibly written out of the the budget for 2010. It sucks when the week starts out great, then goes down hill in a flash.

However, I find myself compelled to jot down a few thoughts on a Friday night before I head off to the pub. Because my washing machine is dead, I spent a couple of hours at a laundromat in the neighborhood. Fluff and fold, baby, fluff and fold. It's been years since I've done that, and I'm hoping like hell it's a one time event, as I'm off to Saturn in the morning to pick out a new washing machine (am I even old enough to know how to buy a washing machine?) to get my domestic life on track, so at the very least I'll be a very enigmatic ("though the Germans read you like a book") punk with clean clothes.

So, I'm currently finding my place, again. Whether I'll be in Spain, or Prague, or still in Frankfurt in 6 months time is anyone's guess, but I'm simply going to flop about and take it all in stride. It beats watching the shit on TV, eh?

That's the scoop for this week. See you out there.

bryan

soundtrack
The Who - Quadrophenia (entire album). Doctor Jimmy. nuff said. even though i don't like gin.
Thrice - Vheissu (entire album) particularly Image of the Invisible
Carter USM - Falling on a Bruise (just the track)

(note - this is yet another disjointed post brought to you in part by the lovely bodega of Rioja)