That song has been my theme song for the month of May.
28 days ago I wrote of my joy that my pub had reopened, my parents were coming to visit, and I was truly hoping that things would start settling down in the office, allowing me to have a nice month.
Boy was I ever wrong.
I've not had a particularly pleasant month at all. Virtually everything work related has gone tits up, as my colleagues in the UK frequently remark. However, I must clarify this statement. From an operations standpoint in my facility, my little program is starting to take off; we're making progress and doing pretty well. Colleagues are starting to take responsibility, and I'm encouraged that my efforts to build a program are showing result.
On the other hand, the project involves two repair sites and a call center. We've had quite a few problems in the call center, and the other site has had it's share of challenges. Furthermore, a few people involved in the management of the program have been off on holiday for a few days at various times during the month, and I've discovered that when they're absent, we absolutely fall apart.
At one point two weeks ago, I was trying to cover for about 4 people, and absolutely couldn't get everything done. Once or twice during that particular week, I was very nearly down for the count; unable to continue in the zany sicko world of program management in the repair logistics industry.
After this past week, I'd prefer the way it went two weeks back, simply shitty and horrible. This past week, I had the complete crap beat out of me no less than 150 times. Wednesday, after an unpleasant two hours on the phone with the European manager of a small program that I'm watching after, I hung up the phone and joined another conference call where the entire management team of my primary customer proceeded to yell and scream so loudly that the connection kept cutting out on the telephone.
Redundant as their message was, it was very clear that they're not satisfied with the way things are going. It's a bit annoying that they don't recognize their redundancy (each one basically said the exact same thing - the call center isn't performing, you've got a backlog, there aren't enough people working the issues, etc), but it's a bit humiliating that this is now the second time we've had this sort of teleconference. How come we didn't sort things out six weeks ago when they first told us their concerns?
Well, basically, we're trying to accomplish too much with too few people. This is a majorly complicated project that requires a fair amount of brain power. Unfortunately, there are three of us trying to make it all happen, and it's almost impossible, especially if the slightest thing goes wrong or someone is out of the office.
I'm reminded of the times when I played football with Muzzy, Stephen, Sean, and Shane; the Pogue Mahones. More than several times in 2005, we'd have 4 guys on the pitch playing against a team of 6. For the first 8-10 minutes or so, we held our own, possibly only allowing 1 or 2 goals. Then, we'd fall apart and proceed to get hammered for the remaining 30 minutes of the game, ultimately losing pretty impressively.
After those games, we'd always head straight to the pub and congratulate ourselves on our efforts. We always played ok, but were outmatched simply because we lacked a full squad. We told ourselves to be proud; other teams wouldn't have been able to hang in half as long as we did.
Well, I'm right smack in the middle of a cup final, against a team that, while not really any better than we are, happens to be well funded and has an unlimited number of players both on the pitch and on the reserves bench (feel free to say "Chelsea," if you like). We've played OK for a few minutes, but there's a lot of time left on the clock, and it's going to get brutal.
My analogy only works on one level, too. After all, I cannot and should not attempt to beat this team; they're my customer. (note - I might like a few quiet minutes in a dark alley with a couple of the folks that seem to go out of their way to kick us when we're down. C'mon, is it really necessary to point out that we're not sending out reports in a timely manner when we've just admitted that we're behind in sending out reports?)
I've been trying to figure out where we're going wrong with this project. I've certainly had moments where I could be making better decisions, and I think that goes for everyone in my company. We always seem to try and create a profitable program through smoke and mirrors, with one man behind a little screen. Sooner or later it catches up, and we all end up looking like fuckheads.
At any rate, that's pretty much the job update. One big Suck with a capital S. Plenty more of where that came from.
So, what am I doing about it? Looking for the humor in all of it, trying to keep my sanity, and trying to dig myself out. I will dig myself out, somehow or someway.
It's most unfortunate that my folks happened to be here during the roughest two weeks of the month. I did not see them nearly as much as I would have liked, and that's been a bit tough to handle. Here I was, in a perfectly appropriate moment to remark, "I want my mommy," and she was actually in town. Instead, however, I got a bit too caught up in myself and let them kind of fend for themselves more often than not. I think we managed to have dinner together five or six evenings.
My parents are quite the great human beings, and enjoyed themselves thoroughly during their time in Frankfurt. Sure, they would have preferred to spend more time with me, but also understood my complicated situation. They scouted out a bunch of great places in Sachsenhausen, which is the other hip district in Frankfurt. It's south of the river (how cool is it that there's a river running through my city?) and is full of nice little cafes and bars. My folks seemed to know everyone in the neighborhood by the end of their visit.
The three of us did get to celebrate Mother's Day together, though I was not in the best of form due to the fact that the previous evening I'd been to an open air concert involving Kim Wilde, no less, and had managed to consume some award winning amount of beer sold by the liter. Said concert involved a humorous moment where Stefan was kneeling down, calling Hieke to find out where she was standing. Stefan and I had gone on a potty break/beer run and gotten lost in the crowd of people. So, he was on the ground trying to hear the phone conversation, and I stood there holding the two liters of beer. A person standing in front of us put his girlfriend on his shoulders, which interrupted the view of someone behind us. The frustrated person ran forward to tell the guy to put his girl down, but knocked into me, causing me to spill most of the beer on Stefan, who stood up quickly with his back soaked in beer yelling, "shit shit shit!"
Ah well, it made for a good story later at the pub as we had a few more unnecessary beers.
I did manage to see the UEFA Cup and Champions League finals. UEFA Cup was quite the entertaining match, Champs League not so much. Actually, the FA Cup final wasn't all that hot either, now that I think about it. But, another season of football has ended, and now we wait until August when we start all over again. Yes, I know La Liga has a couple of games left, but Valencia has no chance of anything higher than fourth place.
As I look for the humor in life to help me through my rough spell, I realize that I'm a bit out of form. My mom and dad for sure noticed, and my barman has, too, just to name a few folks. It has always been difficult for me to try and skate through with a simple, "yeah, sure, everything is great!" even when it isn't. That said, I don't try to drag everyone into it, either.
So, even though there seems to be an absence of humorous events, I remember a few key moments of this past month: Going to the post office to pick up an autographed copy of Ian Rankin's The Naming of the Dead. I've just finished that book and feel a whole lot better about life. Thanks again, McKee.
Also, I finally got to have a chat with a guy who recently Maui'ed himself. The pix are great, Whit. Made me want to go buy some JCrew. (Please accept that as the compliment it was intended to be)
I started this piece earlier in the day, and have since gotten sidetracked by (go figure) work related things, but a brief skype with Pablo has made for a nice way to wrap things up. It's "halb acht," which is 7.30pm in english. Time to ratchet down for the day.
I believe I'll slip over to the pub for a couple, and perhaps prepare my schedule for the rest of the week.
keep the faith
bryan
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