Am I Doing it Right?

I really like my Saturday mornings these past months.  I usually get up fairly early, allow the coffee machine to warm up properly, then sit and enjoy the first espresso of the day.  I allow my thoughts to wander, and reflect on the previous week, as well as think about what lies ahead.  It is a nice feeling to sit in a comfortable chair, just sitting, listening, thinking, and being.  

This morning is just as routine as the other Saturdays, but my to-do list is slightly different.  Sure, my to-do lists vary from week to week, but, just like my grocery shopping list, many items tend to be similar.  It is all about taking time for myself, and doing what I want to do.  Piano practice is always on the list, but this week I am starting to work on new material, so the excitement is brewing.  

Several of the works are from one of my favorite composers, and one of the to-dos for today is to write him a thank you note, since once again, I find the music so compelling and great that I need to tell him as such.  

A friend of mine offered a suggestion of a song that I should adapt to piano, along with vocal.  I had never really considered the song before, but the more I thought about during the week, it seemed like a good idea.  So, that is on today's list, also. 

One of my favorite things about piano playing is the opportunity for mixing structure with interpretation. With the music from the composer, I will learn the notes, learn the dynamics, and eventually be able to play the piece as it was intended by the composer.  In this process, the learner is typically not asking, "Am I doing it right?" because you just follow the sheet music, and you know good and well when you play the wrong note.  It also helps that we have technology to help us; listening to the original piece over and over helps put the song in our head, so that we kind of "feel" it as we play.  

When it comes to adaptations, however, the opportunities are wide open.  I get to determine if I am doing it right or not, and inevitably, I find that things keep right on evolving.  Some of the stuff I was playing even a year or two ago (that was recorded for comedic value) has been changed once or twice more since then, just because I felt like it.  Instead of asking, "Am I doing it right?" I get to ask myself, "Does it feel right?"

On my to-do list this morning (and already completed, thanks very much) is the change out of my internet router.  As a guy who has spent much of his career working in the repair of electronics, I have seen a great many devices fail and require repair.  I have had the experience to speak with many frustrated customers, and enjoy the opportunity to help solve their problem.  With very likely a great deal of luck, I personally have had very few problems with my hardware over the years.  

But, I am always a little sensitive to change, especially when those changes can contribute to frustrating interruptions.  A couple of years ago, I did have a router fail, and I was able to replace it the same afternoon. (That was kind of a shitty Saturday morning, because I got myself all worked up about things before finally coming to my senses and solving the problem.)

One of the reasons that I had gotten so worked up about the router is that is was my gateway to the internet, and while I can happily find something else to do with my time in private life, I need to be connected at all times for work.  And working from home puts that extra little pressure on the situation. 

I think back about all the times I was working at some facility or in an office and the networks went down.  Everybody stood around in bewilderment, exclaiming, "We are down, we are down! What do we do?" and sometimes the outage extended long enough to really impact production.  In repair logistics, this is a big deal.  (note - I am not speaking about the cushy office job where someone cannot print on the network printer, but truth be told, all experiences are relative.)

The thing that has always stuck with me, though, is that when everyone is TOGETHER and DOWN, there is a communal sense.  You win together and you lose together.  But you get to see it in real time. 

When you are at home, you are isolated from others, so the feeling is slightly different.  From time to time, companies experience an email server outage, which is always a bit tricky, because most IT departments notify the employees of IT problems via email.  Not possible when the email server does not work.  In the office environment, you turn to your colleague and ask, "Hey, are you getting any emails?" hopefully asking the employee who actually DOES regularly receive mails. 

At home alone, you simply have to get the feeling that something may not be right. 

Since I am working home office as a new employee, I am still finding my comfort zone.  Because it is a technical company, I am a little intimidated when there is any kind of issue, software or hardware related.  I was actually relieved the other week during a conference call when one of my German colleagues (working from his own home) complained about his hardware.  It removed that isolated feeling.  Another colleague, who manages one of our customers, who happens to be the biggest network operator in Germany, had a recent connectivity issue which prevented him from joining one of our calls.  Again, I was relieved that I was not the only one. 

Two weeks ago, I was speaking with my boss via a video call, and we had some connection issues, including loss of audio, freeze up, etc.  It happened once or twice more over the next few days, and then my boss said, "Look, I do not have any of these problems with anybody else."

That is EXACTLY what I had hoped to avoid.  Agreed, some of the audio issues were a result of me being an idiot; my microphone set up is unique, but I was overlooking some of my software settings, which created the issues.  I got most of those resolved, but then my router started resetting itself (almost with glee) once or twice a day. 

Because my very first router lasted almost 11 years without incident, I failed to realize just how unusual that was.  Most of the time, a router is not going to go much past five years, but a lot of elements contribute to that.  Sure, my router is my kitchen, where smoking is allowed, and the door is open to allow four seasons of weather to blow through.  And, because I cook a fair amount, all the bits of kitchen activity will also have a negative impact on the hardware operation.  

At any rate, my "old" router is only about 2 (maybe 3) years old.  It is provided by my ISP, and I was aware that other customers had had problems through the years.  However, since I was having no difficulties, I figured things were okay.  It was not until I was having problems connecting to my boss that I started getting alarmed.  For the most part, I was thinking that it was a problem with the video software we use as a company, as I had experienced a few problems with it before.  Likewise, some of the similar issues I have experienced in Skype conversations were attributed to connection issues at the other end.  Both my sister and my father (my primary skype buddies) both have had some issues over the years, and true, we had plenty of moments of a bit of finger pointing, or at least comments like, "Hey, it is not from MY side," but ultimately it was impossible to determine where the real problem was. 

To make a long story even longer, right after my boss indirectly said, "Hey, this is really starting to piss me off," I elected to buy a replacement router.  At the very least, I would have a back up. 

Funny how these things go.  Immediately after placing the order, my existing router performed like a champ.  My connections were fast and stable, and no more random resetting.   The new router arrived last Monday, and I elected to ride my luck and wait a few days before changing them out.  Installing one is very straight forward, but I did not want to risk any unnecessary down time simply because of an error I might make in the set up.  

So, while I waited for the espresso machine to warm up this morning, I quietly setup my fritzbox, and as you can see (and probably feel), this post is taking less time for you read because the connectivity is so zippy...

The cool thing about hardware set ups is that you simply follow the diagram and instructions, and presto, you are connected!  No need to ask yourself if you are doing it right, because it is all too obvious when you do it wrong.  My mobiles and laptops are all now happily using the lan and wifi of the new box.  

The other task on today's list involves the preparations of my US tax return.  I do not procrastinate with this activity as much as my sister, but it is tedious.  The other week while discussing this with my sister, she was already complaining that hers would be trickier this year, since she had moved back to Europe during the filing year.  As I reassured her that it would not be any more difficult than any other year, I realized that my own situation would be a bit different, too.  But, I embrace the challenge, and will read up on the instruction form to make sure that I do everything right.  In a later post, I might be able to report on how that really went for me.  Last year, I do recall having some challenges submitting my electronic return.  There was a helpful (albeit annoying) message that came back within 2 minutes of pressing "submit" that would tell you if everything was okay. 

Last year about this time, I got to ask myself  "Am I doing it right?" 6 straight times, as I kept correcting and resubmitting my return.  Fingers crossed that it goes better this time round. 

Pablo asked me a couple of days ago if I was liking my new job ok, and it was a very thoughtful question.  I am finishing my third month in the new role, and things are still new.  One of the challenges I am experiencing is the need for reassurance, both from myself and from colleagues.  

In short, I have frequently been asking myself, "Am I doing it right?"

The truth is, there is no truly "right" way to do it.   To try and compensate, I am seeking at least a bit of reassurance from colleagues that I am on the "right" track.  Perhaps I should continue to change my thoughts on this, too.  The facts are: there is no way that I can have ALL the answers straight away, because I have not been with the company long enough.  Getting acclimated with business processes, business politics, and all the rest is an experience.  

Thus, it probably makes sense to focus more on, "Does it feel right?"

And the answer to that question, Pablo, is yes.  It feels right.  

keep the faith

bryan