As I go about my life, I always keep several lists close at hand. Some are very basic and involve specific tasks, like the list I made this morning for what I need (want) to accomplish today before leaving on my business trip tomorrow. The list is short, only four items, two of which are absolutely vital to my trip. In no specific order, the items are: clean the flat, get cash, go the supermarket, and pack.
Simply writing these items down is sufficient for me to get everything done; if I want to get more specific, then I will make a sub-list for a specific thing. Like my shopping list for the grocery store. I actually have gotten better about reusing post-it notes for this task, as I invariably purchase the same staple items. There is no point to rewrite the same ten items on a new post-it each week. (However, it has occurred to me that I might be able to improve my penmanship, which could help me avoid standing in the middle of the store trying to figure out my scribble on a crumpled post-it).
Pause for a second as I suddenly realize that I do not see that many other shoppers in my local market carrying around a list, so unless they are concealing it on the inside of their hand (like they are cheating on a spelling test or something), I am pretty amazed that German society is so capable of routine shopping without a list. Then again, I cannot really measure on the success rate of the other shoppers. For me, even with my list (again a note to self - improve penmanship), I manage to forget one or two items until I get home to put everything away, at which point I get to say, "Damn, add that to the list for next time."
Of course, next time for me is only a couple of days away.
For list items such as "clean the flat" and "pack," I rarely have to get too detailed. Usually, clean the flat relates to normal maintenance as opposed to getting out the sandblaster and industrial scrubbers. Likewise, packing is a pretty straight forward thing. If I will only be gone for a few nights, then it is a simple exercise in counting. One of the advantages to wearing remarkably similar clothing day in and day out is that I don't have to think about wardrobe combinations very much. While this makes things simple (if not boring), it does allow for moments of bewilderment among my friends and the super capable shoppers who live in my neighborhood.
Just last weekend, after I had abandoned my effort to get a blog piece posted on account that I was trying too hard with both the title and the content, I walked into the pub only to be greeted with a comment, "Holy shit, Bryan, you are wearing a red shirt."
Later on the same evening, someone else made a similar remark, and I related the abridged account of when I had purchased my Shallow Reign t-shirt at a Monsters of Rock concert back in the summer of 1988. Chris was there, and he was the one who made me get a red shirt (instead of my usual black or white). Our conversation quickly touched on the amazing fact that said shirt does not look 30 years old, but, as Erik said, maybe 5 or 6 years old. No one believed me when I told them how many times I had worn the shirt through the years, though in fairness, I've only worn it once or twice in the past decade.
Anyway, back to lists. Besides the basic day to day routine lists, I also keep some running lists which are more goal oriented. Last year, I got a tip from a woman who helped me better understand the importance of specifics. Thus, instead of simply saying, "I want to read more," she suggested that I quantify the statement. That way, I would be able to measure my achievement.
I do take her point on board, but notice that this can sometimes create conflict. There is nothing worse than setting ambitious goals, then falling disastrously short. I tend to apply Bryanlogic to my tasks, including goal setting, and am very well versed in attempting to be realistic. That being said, one cannot forget that, with kids and Bryans, all plans are subject to change. Therefore, a certain extent of flexibility needs to be present. This includes accepting whatever happens.
I recently reread the general personal development lists that I made for myself over the past few years. Not surprisingly, they are all similar, and not particularly specific. Again, there is no set order for these items, but they include: read more, improve German language, play more piano, get fitter, smoke less, and write more.
With writing, I keep a sort of personal journal and obviously post pieces on this blog. Although I would like to get a piece posted each week, I realize (as do any regular readers) that it won't always happen, like last week, for example. Still, I am able to measure the accomplishment not just by looking at the stats on the blog site, but more importantly, by noticing how I feel. Just like with lifting weights (part of the "get fitter" task) regularly, I notice how I feel WHEN I have not exercised. Exercising creates energy for the body, and writing exercises the mind. Both are really good things.
I am careful to keep these things in a balance, so I do not beat myself up (too much) when I get caught up in other things. This has been a sore spot for me with regard to learning the German and Spanish languages over the years. For a while, I really got irritated with myself for trying too hard to keep both Spanish and German languages level as high as possible. Living in a German speaking society allows for less opportunity to regularly use Spanish; anyone who is multilingual certainly understands this challenge. For me, I have relaxed the pressure I was putting on myself to try and keep a grasp of Spanish, and channeled the energy into exploring ways to actually focus more on German, which is the logical thing to do, considering where I live.
When I got my new laptop the other month, I was glad to be able to install some German language learning software, and for several weeks was diligently doing some refresher work on various points, like articles, verb conjugation and the like. Of course, it was great to be able to measure the progress via the program, but since August, things have gotten ridiculously busy at work, and I have simply not found the time to go through a few of the exercises as much as I wanted.
Rather than allow myself to feel lousy for not being able to keep up (pause to admire those people who work full time and study full time), I find other ways to stay immersed in German, most recently through German medium. I am tending only to watch German language programming, and it continues to help, particularly as a refresher for expression and culture. I won't quite say that it is now effortless, but this year I am noticing even more than before that I am not as conscious of which language I am using.
A couple of nights ago, I was playing the quiz at the pub. It was sort of spontaneous thing, but our team consisted of myself, 3 Germans, and 2 guys who only speak English. I lost track of which language we were speaking most of the evening. All the Germans (not surprisingly) speak English, but 90% of the time we speak with each other in German, unless there are nonspeakers around, like Thursday night.
It is a great feeling to be able to switch languages back and forth without realizing it. I had another reminder of this the following day while participating in multiple conference calls, some internal, with German speaking colleagues, others external, with the same colleagues along with some non-German speakers. The fuzzy feeling just creates great energy, and I am not even really trying.
With piano playing, it is the same. I have commented frequently on the effortless mastery technique that Kenny Werner writes about, and I think that actually applying to multiple facets of my life is further improving my approach to music. I am currently working on four new pieces of work, and all of them are challenging, both technically and expressively. It is a lot of stuff to learn at one time, and can easily be discouraging if I let it.
Playing these pieces with the focus on becoming more familiar with the work (rather than playing it correctly) is accelerating the process. I am not worried about having all of them mastered before I play them for Grandmother during Christmas holidays, but am simply enjoying not thinking too much about playing them. Focusing on enjoyment allows me to let go, and simply appreciate the moment.
I know I have used this personal example in the past, especially with language learning, but it fits. I cannot be the only one who, when learning to ride a bicycle without training wheels, was pedaling along without a care in the world, only to glance over my shoulder, expecting to see my father running along supporting the back of my bike seat. The shock of not seeing him there (but 50 yards behind, instead, standing and smiling) immediately knocked me back into consciousness, prompting me to wobble and crash the bike. Had I simply not concentrated, I would have kept riding for another 2 days, or at least until it was time to go in for supper.
Playing these new piano pieces is the same. I will be moving right through a passage, flowing along as happily as ever, when I suddenly I allow a thought into my head: where am I on the page of music? or do I have the fingering right?
Bam, I lose the flow and immediately have my fingers tangled up.
So I have to pause, get myself back into the mindset, then start again. It's actually easy, once you get the hang of it. And, all four of them are coming along nicely; I only started working on them a few weeks ago.
Now, if you will excuse me, I am going get cracking on my little list for today. But I am not going to think about it to much.
see you out there
bryan
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