The other week I was on a conference call with about 20 people, including the country managers, the delivery manager, and a couple of guys who represent our external customer. Things got a little tense, and before you knew it, our delivery manager was in a heated argument with the customer. I am new to the specific project, but already had a pretty good understanding of why emotions could get a little tense.
As I sat at my desk listening to the two guys in their fiery exchange, I was reminded of being on a playground as a 10 year old watching two kids have an argument. In both situations, there was not an immediate solution present. In the case of the children, one person said something pretty much to the effect of, "I am going to tell my parents on you!" to which the other child responded, "Yeah? Well, nanny nanny boo boo!"
You know, all these years later, I cannot actually remember what the two ten year olds said to each other....
The incident really irritated me and put me in a bad mood for the rest of the work day. The sour mood returned a couple of days later when another colleague sent out an email requesting urgent feedback. The request was for information that most people understand realistically takes three to four hours to obtain. Unfortunately, said colleague did not understand this, so he sent a follow up message about 30 minutes later telling everyone to hurry up, and included a statement "the customer is escalating."
In other words, the customer was going to tell my parents on me? What might happen? My allowance might get cut off? Would I be grounded and not allowed to go out and play?
Throughout my career I have always been fascinated at the way people behave themselves in the workplace. All too often, I have experienced where people really get bent out of shape in moments of conflict, then proceed to exacerbate things because of the way they choose to handle the situation. Either they go into full blown panic mode and start making very rash decisions, or they simply throw all their toys out of the pram.
It is not coincidence that I keep referring to children in my analogies. What is rather distressing to me is that people (including myself, to be fair) tend to overlook their maturity. This is particularly exasperating for me at my job, since I work for a company that has continued to grow over the past six years, but we continue to really fall short when it comes to development, especially development of our resources.
Many of my posts here mention anecdotes from my work experience; a lot of them provide a sarcastic glimpse into the various challenges that occur when things are not going so well. As I said before, the company is actually reasonably successful, but I personally believe it comes at the expense of the people. As an example, a couple of years ago, we started a massive project which required a lot of system development and additional staff. Unfortunately, we somehow underestimated the requirements, and ultimately reacted way too late. We knew good and well that we would almost increase our basic accounting functions by 6000%, and we did not add any staff.
What?
It really came as no surprise to me last year as one by one, most of the financial team left the company. As much as I felt for them, I was equally frustrated by their reluctance to accept my offer to help support. It was clear to me that they were not clear on the tasks at hand, and I thought (rightfully, in my opinion) that I could help them understand what we were trying/needing to do.
Later on, I realized that my helpful gesture wasn't ignored because the recipients did not want the help, it was that they did not know HOW to understand that they needed the help. I ultimately decided that it was an issue of having the wrong people doing the task. Wrong, not because because they were incapable, but wrong because they never had the opportunity or the training. This comes down to personal development.
Recently, my teen-aged nephew was hired by a neighbor to do some yard work. My nephew grossly underestimated the task and quickly got himself overwhelmed. Instead of trying assess the situation and change his approach, he panicked, called in reinforcements (the parents), and together they more or less completed the project, albeit somewhat below expectation from all parties involved.
It was not as if my nephew had been asked to mow the lawn with a pair of fingernail clippers, but it was rather clear that he lacked the knowledge of how to approach the challenge, including which tools to use and how to use them. Of course, this was his opportunity to learn, and my disappointment comes more from the way in which the problem got resolved.
I know this sounds arrogant, but when I was that age, and when I worked for that same neighbor some 30 years ago, I had similar challenges. Likewise, I also got myself overwhelmed. But, when I reached out for help on how to solve the problem, from the likes of my neighbor and my father, I received both constructive criticism and support (as well as bit of humorous commentary) and most always was able to complete the job. And I LEARNED from the experience.
Building on those experiences leads to development and maturity, both of which have helped me greatly in my personal and professional life. True, a lot of this came from upbringing, but much of it also came from my education.
I consider myself to be rather logical, but certainly I have my moments of naivety, and I am still pretty good at being an absolute dipshit (Yes, I did almost lock myself out of the house again this week, and yes, I did narrowly escape the old aerosol spray in the eye trick). But, I always try to learn from the experience and build on it.
Earlier this week, I received a rather serious letter in the mail from the Frankfurt Finanzamt, stating that I owed them 200 Euro for failure to comply with a obligatory action that I was supposed to take part in last November. The letter went on to say that they were disappointed that I had ignored their follow up letters, along with their phone calls.
Exemplified? Naive - I failed to realize that the certified letter I received last November requesting my participation was important. Dipshit - I simultaneously failed to realize that there were financial penalties should I fail to comply. Dipshit point 2 - Simply ignoring the follow up letters.
Logic - I paid the penalty via bank transfer two days ago when I received the "final notice."
I do wish I had been a bit more aware last year when the whole thing started, but oh well.
Live and learn.
And don't continue to make the same mistakes over and over. That is what gripes me so much at work. How come we can't seem to collectively learn and move forward?
I had a rather enjoyable conversation just last Friday evening that helped remind me of how important this concept really is. As usual, I was standing outside the pub with a beer, enjoying the pleasant weather. I happen to overhear a young woman at the next table speak in English to one of the staff, and referred to time in Texas.
Normally, I don't go out of my way to broadcast where I come from, but I jumped out of character for a moment, and asked her where she came from. It turns out she comes from a city rather close to Fort Worth, where I have some roots. As we continued our conversation, we talked a little bit about the experience of living abroad, and then she remarked that she had attended college about an hour north of Dallas.
The moment she said that, and the way that she said it ("it's a really small college") I realized that there was about a 99% chance that I knew which one it was. I started laughing as she named the school.
It is my alma mater, too.
We went through the obligatory "No way, what a small world!" remarks, and just then, her husband returned to the table, found out what we were laughing about, and said, "So you are a 'Roo, too?"
The woman's husband is German, and the two of them met at an international event several years ago. He was quite familiar with our college and the three of us spent the next hour discussing how great the experience was, and what our time at the school had meant to us.
Both the woman and I agree that the school's curriculum was outstanding, but as much as we learned, perhaps one of the most rewarding things was that we learned HOW to learn. Although I have discussed this topic countless times with my classmates from my own years at college, this was one of the first times that I had ever had a chance to talk about it with someone who graduated 20 years after I did.
It was rather refreshing and comforting to encounter someone who appreciates the importance of living and learning, particularly someone so much younger. As I get older, I get the feeling that I don't see this enough, but this helps keep things in perspective for me.
People are still living and learning on the playground.
See you out there.
bryan
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