When I was finishing my last post at the end of November, I wondered if I would find time to get another post or two written during December. As always, a few topics were floating around in my head, but I let go of the pressing "need" to get something written, and instead just took things as they came. If I suddenly felt the desire to get some commentary posted, super. If not, that would also be OK.
December always goes quickly, in two parts.
The first couple of weeks of the month I was simply looking forward to boarding the plane back to Dallas to spend a couple of weeks with family. Before that, of course, I had to get through some busy work days, complicated slightly by a mandatory trip to the company headquarters in Munich for the office Christmas party. I had not planned to attend said event, as I wanted to avoid additional (unnecessary) travel expenses, especially since our company had just laid off several employees; it just seemed a little awkward to go off and say "rah rah, Merry Christmas" around the remaining colleagues. On top of that, I just didn't really want to go.
But I did.
As expected, it was awkward, and I felt rather distant and alone for most of the evening. Sure, I got to speak with some old colleagues that I had not seen in a couple of years, and that made up for things. I had willed myself to be positive about the experience, and I did manage to enjoy myself to some extent.
That being said, I lost about 1 and a half days of time that I needed to get a few business things wrapped up prior to my vacation. The cold I caught while in Munich did not help my mood; I was desperate to be healthy during my few short weeks stateside.
I rallied during my last weekend in Frankfurt before my Tuesday departure, and even though I did not get a chance to wish all my German friends a happy festive season, I did manage to get the worst of my cold behind me. The final two nights before my flight, I hardly slept, mostly in anticipation of the coming trip.
It is safe to say that my heart is not really into the job any more, and while several (if not quite a few) readers might say something like, "it's been this way for some time, now, Bryan," I still tend to disagree. This time round (during the recent three months of frantic, hectic work), I still continue to deliver a good service, but there is no longer as much satisfaction helping to buoy the work-life balance.
Checking in at the airport was a speedy event, and once I was in my seat awaiting takeoff, I smiled at the thought of simply ignoring any work related activity for the next three weeks. Unlike years past, this trip was going to be work-free.
During the flight, I entertained myself by watching a several movies. Once again, I went from one extreme to another, first watching Deadpool 2 and eventually getting into the spirit by watching It's a Wonderful Life, always a favorite.
Of course, the flight attendant came around with snacks right in the middle of weepy moment during the climatic scene, but I smiled through my dribbles and took another coffee.
We landed a few minutes early, and after collecting my suitcase, I walked out to the arrivals lounge to see my father waiting for me, wearing his Santa hat.
What a nice way to start the holiday.
As usual, that evening we headed to a local Tex-Mex restaurant, always my first port of call. Like a squirrel gathering nuts for winter, I had to cram a full year's Mexican food into a 3 week sitting. (Yes, I regularly cook Tex-Mex-ish things at home, including a rather tasty salsa, but it is simply not the same.) You cannot get the proper tostada chips and Margaritas just anywhere (except for, erm, from personal experience, a few thousand restaurants in the DFW metroplex)
After dinner, we returned home to continue the family tradition of falling asleep in front of the television. We started watching some Christmas movie, and my excuse of course was related to jet-lag. That's why I fell asleep five minutes into the show. As for the rest, well, my sister was right in the middle of moving house, her husband had just returned to Spain to start a new job, and my nephew and father were simply tired.
The next morning, the Wednesday before Christmas, I was wide awake at 5h30. Despite my intention to completely ignore work for the duration of my holiday, I had experienced a problem with my mobile telephone immediately upon arrival in Dallas. It seems that the keyboard app on my phone had stopped working, so I was unable to log on the phone to access my international roaming and access my father's wifi.
So, I wanted to connect up my laptop, to see if I could find a solution to my mobile problem, and that also meant taking a quick peek at my work emails. I was a little anxious as to how my customer was going to react during my holiday absence. It is a new customer, and as they have regularly reminded us since the project start back in August, Germany is "very very important."
A couple of mails caught my eye, so I read through them quickly, and found myself irritated and disappointed. I had set up a temporary process where my repair partner in Germany would send their daily email directly to the customer for disposition, rather than simply sending it to me to forward on to the customer. (It's a silly process, but I work in a silly industry)
The irritation came from reading the response from the customer, who had escalated to my management, wondering why I was not continuing to forward these mails each day during my holiday. My management had the good sense to respond that I was on holiday, but the customer responded that they worked through their holidays, so why wasn't I going to work through mine?
The positive thing from this incident is that I immediately logged out of my email and did not look at any further mails for the rest of my time in the states. And I am a better person for it.
Meanwhile, I located a few forums which discussed the Gboard problem that was impacting several thousand mobile users. Apparently an update to the application was released precisely during the time that I was flying over the Atlantic ocean. The problem resulted in any user, who was completely logged out of their mobile, was unable to log back in to their phone. I read both German and English forums, and started seeing where some people had found some workaround solutions.
My nephew, fairly competent at looking for similar type solutions online (instead of asking people directly), had already mentioned a couple of the solutions. However, it was not quite so straight forward.
By 6am that morning, I was on my second cup of coffee, eagerly waiting for my father to get up and start his day (so that I would have someone to play with). Dad came out soon after and we fired up the chiminea on the back patio. This is another of our cherished traditions: have a chat and a coffee during the early morning.
My sister still had a few more days of work, and my nephew was finishing up his finals. Thus, my father and I had a few days to sort of kick around before everyone was on Christmas break. I had a few items that I wanted to get, namely a restock of jeans, but I also needed to find something that my Grandmother could give me for Christmas. She is forever adamant that there is a gift for me under the tree each year at Christmas. Last year she gave me an iron skillet (my choice), which was purchased in Germany, although she had really wanted me to buy one in the states. I had managed to convince her that carrying a heavy skillet in a suitcase was not the most intelligent way to travel, but I didn't want to do a repeat this year.
For years, I have been looking for a coat to replace the one that I had received from my grandmother 30 years ago. I had worn that coat well past it's haltbar date (by probably 6 or 7 years) but because of my particular tastes (and the current fashions) I had not found anything suitable in recent years.
Thanks to a rather pleasant experience at Nordstrom at the shopping center close to my grandmother, I found a great coat that should last me another 30 years. Thus, less than 24 hours after arriving stateside, I had helped my Grandmother complete her shopping.
My father and I walked through the mall looking at the decorations, feeling rather relaxed knowing that we did not need to frantically shop for last minute gifts. This year, with the exception of the coat, our family was going to be a little light on gift giving. This mainly had to do with the fact that my sister and nephew had just moved back in with my dad to finish out their 5 year stateside say. As mentioned, my brother-in-law had already returned to Spain to begin a new job, and after the school year finishes in May, my nephew will graduate highschool and return to Spain for university. My sister will finish her school year, then return to Spain to resume the living abroad experience, as was always the plan.
Thus, it made little sense to buy bulky gifts that they would have to ship back over to Spain (think iron skillet). They were already trying to downsize the stuff that they had accumulated over five years, and a mountain of things still remained. In short, I had no idea of what to get either of them, and I am not really one for simply giving a gift to say, "I gave them a gift." I need the gifts to have some meaning. Likewise, I do not like giving elaborate expensive gifts in effort to wow someone. (think iphone 11 for a 17 year old). Furthermore, that's not the kind of gift I think should come from an uncle, and truth be told, it's a bit of stretch that something like that would come from parents, at least in my opinion. Fortunately, I helped squelch the idea when I mentioned that buying a product with a US warranty right before moving out of country was not such a logical idea. (again, think iron skillet)
For my father, I was also struggling to come up with something. He had already said, "Holy shit, Lynne and Daniel have brought a ton of stuff back to the house" more than several times in the past 24 hours, and he himself is already looking to downsize from a house full of things from a lifetime of living. Buying yet another "something" makes absolutely no sense.
Leave it to my Grandmother to help me finish my "shopping" for my family. A few weeks before I got to the states, we had a video call together, during which she asked me what was on my Christmas list. I obviously had mentioned the coat, which she had latched on to firmly. (Hence the reason I went to Nordstrom BEFORE going to see her for the first time since arriving, so as to avoid being empty handed). Meanwhile, during our conversation, she told me what was on HER list: she wanted me to play a little piano recital in the lobby of her residence, for her and a few of her friends.
During my visit to the states in 2018, I played for her a couple of times impromptu, much to her delight (and that of the residence staff and some of the other residents), and I fully intended to do this again. However, as she requested something a little more formal, I had worked out a little set list that I would play for her. Earlier, I had told my father to arrange a good time shortly after my arrival, so that we could get my gift out of the way before Christmas week got going.
So, we walked into her place that first Wednesday to greet her, and after the hugs were done, I mentioned that her gift to me was set and ready to be placed under the tree. Likewise, we confirmed that in two days time, I would be there to play for her and her friends.
The following day, my father and I ran a few more errands with my Grandmother, and stopped off for lunch at another Tex-Mex place, one of our favorites (2879 and counting). During our meal, my grandmother talked about my upcoming "recital" and how excited she was at the gift. She is always reminding me of the significance of spending time together, and that such gifts meant so much more than some "tangible" item. OK, so her gift to me was tangible, but with a story. It was her gift from 30 years ago that I have cherished so much that it seemed only fitting that she give me the replacement coat. Like with my old triple button wool blazer, with this new coat I will think of her every time I wear it. In short, it's much more than just a coat.
Friday morning started just like the other mornings since my arrival. Up early, joined soon after by my dad (who is also an early riser) on the patio by the chiminea. The temperatures were chilly, but not enough to stop us from being outside. For advent, my father had given me (as well as several other friends) an online advent calendar, one that is somewhat interactive. Throughout December before I left Germany, I had explored the calendar each day, finding little things to help put me in the Christmas spirit. Without going into too much detail, the calendar is set in a little English village, and each day when you open up the date, you have a new activity. One day you decorate the Christmas tree, another day you hang the garland and the wreath, and so on. The calendar is really clever, and has little extra hidden things to help provide additional enjoyment. Sticking with the village theme, one of the hidden things was the task each day to find the sheep, which would be hiding somewhere in the village. When you find him, you click him, and he bleats, "bahhhhhh!"
I had really enjoyed this during the first days of the month in Germany, and during some conversations with my father prior to my arrival in Dallas, we had asked each other, "Did you find the sheep today?"
Once in Dallas, I would sit at my laptop in the living room and continue with my Advent calendar. Meanwhile, my father would access his calendar from his computer in the study (my old bedroom).
Because I had used a different laptop in Germany, none of my decorations I had done in the first two weeks of Advent were saved when I accessed the calendar in Dallas. Thus, I got to redecorate my village. And, I got to find all the sheep again, at least up til the current day.
Normally we both looked at our calendars after our coffee times, before showering to get on with the day. This meant that while I was looking at my village, I could hear him in the other room going through his calendar, which plays seasonal music along with other sounds ("baa baahhh")
I could always hear when he found his sheep that day.
By Friday, I had not been able to resolve my mobile problem; I still had no access. This was not a huge problem since it is not as if a lot of people call or text me, but I was aware that I did have some plans that evening, and needed to have a way to contact my friend Pablo. One of the solutions to fixing my problem involved purchasing a dongle that would allow me to connect an external keyboard to my phone, thus giving me a way to enter my passcode, then make the needed updates so that my phone would work properly.
I had gone to three different stores on Wednesday, only to NOT find the needed cable. I came really close on Wednesday evening, going so far as to purchase a cable, only to find out that it was the incorrect connector. That was a little irritating for me, since I work in the business.
Thursday, I had returned the incorrect cable to the store, but they did not have the cable I needed. My dad suggested we go to yet another store, and that resulted in a loss of 2 hours as I wandered through a huge Fry's searching in vain for what I needed. Even the employees were unable to help, and I got to thinking, "why is this so difficult?"
Finally, late Thursday evening, I went online and ordered the needed cable, paying for expedite shipping so that I would receive it by that Saturday. Although I do prefer to purchase from local shops, I do regularly order online, and in fact had already ordered two books which I had not been able to find in the bookshops that I had visited in the past 2 days. I, too, needed some gifts for my father and nephew that would be under the tree for them on Christmas morning.
Friday lunchtime, my father and I arrived to my Grandmother's and I sat down to play through my little set list. During much of 2019, I had focused on giving up the need to play well, a concept that I had learned from a jazz musician. This did not mean that I did not practice regularly prior to my recital. It is more of a mental thing: simply stop thinking about whether or not someone enjoys what you are playing, but instead focus on enjoying playing. That being said, I did want to do a dress rehearsal prior to flying to Dallas. Alas, that did not happen like I wanted, but I hope that I get a chance to do an encore back in Frankfurt.
My grandmother had invited about 14 friends to come down and listen, and once everyone got settled, I started my set. This year, I surprised myself by actually working a couple of songs into the set with vocals. This meant, I actually sang in front of more than one person. My logic, what better way to do it than in front of 14 elderly people (who don't hear particularly well), hoping that the piano would drown out my vocals, especially since I was not using a microphone. The result was pretty much as I expected: people saw my lips moving, but hardly heard my voice. That was probably a good thing.
All in all, the event was a success. I don't think I played as well as I wanted to, but the experience was worth it. Not least of all, my grandmother was absolutely over the moon. She was so grateful and appreciative, and she spoke about it daily for the rest of my trip.
With a bit of relief, my father and I returned home after the pleasant afternoon and took naps. That evening, I drove to Pablo's house for a dinner party, which turned out to be a huge highlight of my trip. I had expected to see Pablo and his family, along with family McKee, but I had not expected to see the other guests at the party, old friends from the past 30 years that I had met through Pablo. It was a fantastic evening just sitting around laughing and catching up, before my jetlag caught up with me around 11h30 that night.
I drove back home and crawled into bed, intoxicated more from the good time with friends than from the few beers I had consumed.
That Saturday morning, only my fourth day back stateside, I woke early (no surprise), but everyone else was up, too. My sister was going to hold a garage sale, to help get rid of all the items from her house. She had already moved back into my dad's house, but still was getting the final bits out of the old place. My father and I bought donuts over to her house, and we helped out as we could, helping customers take things to their cars, etc.
This whole move thing was a pretty big deal. In early November, my sister's situation was pretty much routine. She was working, my brother in law was working, and my nephew was in school. Then, my brother in law flew back to Europe for a job interview, which resulted in him getting a contract, and suddenly he was planning his European return. My sister, in effort to reduce living costs, elected to immediately move back in with my father to finish out the school year, before eventually returning to Europe next summer.
I might argue that making such a decision just before the holiday season is a little abrupt. We have all experienced house moves, and I think we can all agree that they suck. It's hectic, frantic, and complicated, and compounded by the fact that the holidays tend to get a little busy anyway. And, my sister's family was one person less, as Fran was already back in Spain.
So, we all got to participate in the (from now on, let's just use this word) excitement, and even though I was really wanting to relax during my vacation, I wanted to help support however I could. On the flip side of things, my sister was pretty preoccupied with the move, so doing Christmas activity (like gift shopping and cookie baking) were taking a second billing. This was OK, but made things a little different than previous years.
Saturday turned out to be a pretty full day, because we had already planned to attend a family reunion hosted by a second cousin of my mother in Fort Worth. So, up at 6 Saturday morning, selling tables and chairs and household items during the first part of the day, only to wrap things up around 13h, back home to quickly shower and get in the car and drive to Fort Worth for the event at 15h that afternoon.
Well, we actually got to Fort Worth closer to 16h, but arrived just in time for the introductions of all the attendees. This second cousin of my mother is a very interesting guy. I have known him most of my life. He helped me get settled in Massachusetts years ago (he went to MIT and lived in Cambridge many years ago) and he has always gone out of his way to keep contact with the family. Later, he lived in New York for a spell, and eventually retired to Hawaii, where he owns a small coffee plantation. But, as a Texan, he returns regularly (despite regular travel all over the world), particularly every 2nd year to Fort Worth to celebrate Christmas with his sister, who still lives in the Gateway to the West.
This family reunion was particularly interesting, because most of the other guests didn't know each other either. This cousin is a bit of a genealogist, and had gone out of his way to find all the Monks and the Bryans. So, on the Saturday afternoon before Christmas, I was meeting several people, most of which come from west Texas. Despite the distance in our relationships, everyone enjoyed the brief opportunity to meet and greet. One man was there with his family, and it turns out that he was an old friend (and cousin) of my grandfather (on my mom's side). I had heard about this guy for years, but finally got to meet him, shortly before his 90th birthday. He actually taught at a small liberal arts college in Texas, and during our chat, I found out that his best friend was the dean of religion at my college.
Because we arrived to the gathering a bit late, we sort of missed the buffet. And, because the gathering was held in a high end retirement residence, the public area was only bookable for 2 or 3 hours at a time. In short, our gathering was only from 15-17h. This meant, that 45 minutes after we arrived to party, we were saying goodbye to everyone.
My father, sister and I took advantage of the opportunity, and made a beeline for yet another Tex-Mex favorite, Joe T. Garcia's. I had actually thought that a visit here wouldn't fit in this trip, but the opportunity presented itself, and we jumped at it. So, just to recap, I was still on track with making sure I ate Tex-Mex every other day during my stateside visit.
Furthermore, just like Friday evening, my Saturday was another highlight of my trip, and I hadn't been in Dallas but just 4 days. As a little bonus, my cable had arrived Saturday afternoon, and five minutes later I was holding a working mobile. Order restored.
Over the next couple of days before Christmas, I just enjoyed the time with family. My father and I took on the cookie baking task, so as to allow my sister time to finish getting moved out of her old place. Likewise, we did the Christmas dinner shopping, making sure we got all the right ingredients for our menus for Christmas Eve and Christmas Day.
Since we had all agreed that we wouldn't waste time trying to get panic shopping done, we were able to stay pretty relaxed. Sure, we continued the regular feeding frenzy, which included tamales on the 23rd. My sister is fortunate to work in schools where the student/family base has a strong Mexican influence, which means that she gets spoiled with the offerings of the "best" tamales ever. And, to prep for our tamale feast, we went to a local restaurant to pick up some fresh queso and guacamole (obligatory margaritas while we waited).
Early Christmas week, the temperatures got a little warmer, which wasn't really what I wanted. Friends and neighbors were all exclaiming how delightful the weather was, and I said I wasn't so thrilled with having to wear shorts and short sleeve shirts the day before Christmas. As I watched my sister clear out her household, I took it upon myself to go though some of the boxes of stuff I have been storing at my father's house for the past couple of decades. I am conscious of how much stuff I have accumulated over the years, and how much of it, however sentimental, could be moved on to somewhere else.
I ended up going through several large boxes of stuff, and quickly decided it was time to donate books and old clothing to somewhere where they could be of more use. My father was pleased that I had made some room, but in the same breath was still saying, "holy shit, Lynne has a lot of stuff over here, now."
We celebrated Christmas quietly, but festively. Grandmommy went with us to services on Christmas Eve, and was with us on Christmas Day as we enjoyed time together, with fewer presents under the tree. My sister had jumped on the creative gift train and found meaningful gifts for everyone without having to do loads of stressful and unnecessary shopping. We simply enjoyed hanging out together.
On Boxing Day, my father suggested that we visit another Tex-Mex place, owned by a restaurateur who had owned several other well known and well loved places over the years. In fact, we had a nice evening chatting with Monica, who, like always, greets each patron at the door.
One of the tricks of visiting the states, at least for me, is finding ways to eat tons of food without gaining too much weight. With the mandatory Tex-Mex outings, this is no easy task. Throw in fish and chips, barbecue, and several rounds of cheese fries, and you can better understand my situation.
While I did have several days of feeling just a wee bit full, I did come out remarkably unscathed. Because of the busy time with moving, etc, we had elected not to overwhelm ourselves with baking Christmas cookies. In fact, the one batch of Toll House that I had made had to suffice for the entire visit. Of course, we had plenty of other goodies to eat, and none of us actually missed the other cookies, the ones we would have invariably eaten had they been there in the first place.
That worked out well, which is why I did not feel so gut busted full after going to St Martins for a lovely steak, followed by another evening of queso and fajitas, followed by wonderful stromboli at a favorite Italian eatery, followed by some wonderful sausage at the Lakewood Smokehouse. But that's just how I spent the evenings after Christmas, eating my way through.
Just before New Years, we took a family outing to the cinema, where I saw Mr. Roger's Neighborhood. This was a gift from my sister, family time seeing a lovable friend from our childhood. Because I absolutely love this show, both as a child and an adult, the movie was brilliant, and seemed very fitting for this Christmas visit.
This time of year has new significance for me, especially since the passing of my mother, and it was (and is) important to be with family. Appreciating this time, even with the emotional bits, along with the stress of moving house (holy shit, that's a lot of stuff), along with discarding lots of tangible items of my own....well, it just seemed right.
I purposely wanted a quiet Silvester, and didn't even make it to 11pm. No problem. I was thankful that during my visit I had finally relaxed enough to enjoy sleeping restfully.
And then, before you knew it, time was coming quickly to an end. I made another visit to my Grandmother's on New Years Day, just to have a little one on one time. Again, she thanked me profusely for a wonderful Christmas and a wonderful gift. Not everyone gets to share a moment like this with their grandmother, so I am really lucky. As she said herself, it's ridiculous that she is still churning along at 103, and I agree. It is ridiculously FANTASTIC, and I told her as much, before giving her a big hug to start the year.
I finished up my packing later that day, and enjoyed a few minutes visit with a friend who had stopped by to say goodbye on his way home from visiting his parents. As we wrapped things up, I commented on the fact that this visit, as great as it was, didn't have enough time with some close friends. Time went too quickly (as always) and yes, I truly missed not getting enough time with family Goliad and the like. But, the family time was exceptional.
Food, family, and friends. A great way to end a year, and start a new one.
My sister and nephew said their goodbyes at home, before dad took me to the airport. He and I sat outside reflecting for a few minutes before I went through security. Goodbyes are always difficult for me, but hugs help.
As dad drove off, I stood outside the airport for a few more minutes, smoking in the non-smoking area. A couple walked outside and headed over to where I was standing. Things were pretty quiet at the airport, so I had hoped for a couple of private moments to finish drying my tears (and not get yelled at by someone who wants to be a stickler for the non-smoking areas outside). As they approached me, the man said, "hey, a fellow smoker," in a good natured way. He then went on to ask if I had been anywhere fun.
I responded, yes, I had been at home for the past two weeks with family, and it was great fun. And, I was about to return home.
Well, the man was Austrian, and introduced me to his Spanish wife. The two of them had met in Frankfurt several years ago, and used to live in Bornheim. They had just flown in from Madrid, and were returning home themselves to Vancouver. We had a nice chat about Bornheim, a place that they quite like, and it was a fitting way to depart.
Yes, the flight was uneventful, and I did not sleep much. Ironically, I was the only guy in my cabin who spoke German with the flight attendants. And suddenly, I am back in Frankfurt, stepping back into routine.
After a quick pub visit Friday night to greet the usual suspects, I have quietly unpacked, cleaned the flat, done the laundry, paid some bills, and am gearing myself up for the return to work. Tomorrow.
But, it's Sunday afternoon, and as this recap comes to a close, I have a few more hours to enjoy my holiday season and prepare for a good start to 2020.
see you out there
bryan
