Well, October has been a real delight.
A few months ago, the management of the company where I work "won" a business contract that involved a pretty big scope. When I first heard that we would be starting the new project within 45 days, I was very skeptical, as I did not really think we could take on such an initiative in such a short time. The project involved new processes, new systems, and new people, and in my opinion, in order for things to be successful, someone would really have to have a perfect plan.
The project went live on the first of this month, and things have gone really pear-shaped. I was naive to think that someone had really thought this project through, but am increasingly disappointed at the way that management has reacted; they are quickly pointing fingers at the operations guys (guys like me) in the field and claiming that we are failing to execute properly.
It is always distressing when someone tries to blame someone else for their own failures, and the added insult of getting run over by a steam-roller of accusations while we are already knee deep in the hoopla is enough to bring most people to their breaking point. The systems don't work, there are no processes documented, and there not enough resources to support the magnitude of the project. Before the project started, almost everyone in the field (again, those of us on the ops team) raised these concerns and vocally tried to explain that we were setting ourselves up for failure. The response from management was a direct quote from a Nike commercial, and during the teleconference where this message came across, I could actually HEAR my colleagues drop their heads in shame and disappointment. We were going to get screwed.
As a professional, I usually refrain from making overly sarcastic remarks in large meetings, so I did not say the things that immediately came to my mind when we received the instruction "Just Do It."
Do what exactly? Act like a dipshit in front of our partner network because we tell them that the system we "thought" we had doesn't quite work like it had been explained, and as a result will cost people a lot more time, effort and money?
What irritates me the most is being forced into the position of having to provide bullshit information to other people; I become almost as guilty as the management who sent us down this crappy road in the first place.
I will spare you the details, just simply picture this: management team A tells a group of people that they need to go outside in the backyard and build a space program identical to NASA with a cardboard box and two old Speak n' Spells with rundown batteries, nothing more. In one month's time.
Then, a few weeks later, management comes back to inspect progress, and then has the audacity to ask, "Where is the moon, again?"
That is about where we are. Each week this month has been worse then the previous week, and one might speculate that it will continue to get worse.
However, due to my own challenges earlier this year, I approach things like this with a different mentality now. I REFUSE to let this unpleasant situation get the better of me. It took me a long time to truly understand the value of the statement, but indeed, life is way too short,.
So, I focus on being the best Bryan I can be, and as long as I know that I have done my best, that is OK.
True, it is always possible that someone thinks that my "best" is not good enough, but then again, that is not my problem, is it?
As always, I get my strength and motivation from friends, family, music, and humor. I remind myself each day what things are most important, and focus less on what is completely beyond my control.
Two weeks ago, an old friend of mine died peacefully after enduring several years of bone cancer. We knew each since childhood, as our families are very close. She and I were not the closest of friends, but I would see her at church when I visited the states over the past several years. Last Christmas was the last time I saw her, and not long after, the cancer came out of remission, and she lived her remaining months close to family and friends.
Sure, I am deeply saddened at her passing, but am truly inspired by her matter of fact approach to the whole ordeal. She was so very strong and brave throughout treatment, and she focused on enjoying the life that she had instead of worrying about the life that she would not. My sister visited Jill on a Friday evening, and they had a nice conversation about normal things. Two days later, my sister returned for one last visit, although Jill was already in a coma. Jill died the next morning.
I am so proud of her and am thankful for the time that I knew her. Her life is a perfect reminder of what keeping the faith is all about.
peace
bryan
