I came to the startling realization this past week how similar this summer of 2010 is to my summer of 1990. I must say that it's a bit surreal, or perhaps better expressed: unfuckingbelievable.
Seriously, in May-June 1990, things were pretty well out of control. Promptly upon completing my final exam in Macroeconomics, I walked out of the building and started chucking everything I had with me, my pens, pencils, notebook, as hard as I could, as far as I could; I was fairly certain that I'd just failed out of school. Tim's brother (who had just graduated near the top of his class) saw me outside in despair, and I heard later that I'd really freaked him out. That made two of us.
Fortunately, I only got a stern scolding from my school mentor on the importance of performing a bit better academically when my grades were handed out. Of course, my father had a few other choice words to say on the matter, and indeed I more or less got my act together and did significantly better the next terms.
I've had the feeling that my performance at work over these past couple of months has been subpar. A lot of that has had to do with the constant change in priorities; it's almost as if you can never complete one task. As a result, you've always got a lot of balls in the air, and, with one blink, everything can come crumbling down.
True, the industry is such that you've always got to be on alert, and you have to make a lot of decisions on the fly. I've always been relatively adept in this area, but do tend to struggle when the directives aren't quite clear. We've had a lot more politics enter into our company this year, and it is sometimes a bit too much, especially for a hard core middle of the roader like myself.
However, like I did 20 years back, I will have a chat with the principal (er, general manager), adjust the attitude, and get back on track, and right soon, at that.
In 1990, though I suppose you could argue just about any time, I was struck by the changes as friends entered and left my life. In school, this is particularly noticeable as upperclassmen graduate and the freshmen enter each year, and 1990 happened to be significant as a couple of friends of mine moved on, and suddenly, instead of seeing them every day (as you tend to do over 4 years of college), I saw them more and more seldom. The change was difficult for me at the time.
Last month, a friend of mine had a stroke, spent a couple of weeks here in hospital, then returned to his home country where he could receive the necessary care. As he is a pretty good Kumpel, it's been a bit emotional, not only with the sudden absence of my friend, but also the uncertainty and concern I have for his health. All the best, John...
Another friend of mine recently got transferred to another city, so in a flash, he's off to his new challenges and experiences.
Now, people coming and going is really nothing new, and while I take these changes in stride, I'm still struck by the suddenness. At least in school, you sort of knew what would happen each May and each September. Living in an urban village isn't really the same as living on a college campus, but you still become accustomed to seeing people on a regular basis.
I spent the summer of 1990 laughing at the insanity of it all, trying to deal with a lot of different changes at once, but found solace and sanctuary in my usual manner - concentrating on music and football. Italia 90 for me was all about watching a lot of spanish television and appreciating how a world unites itself on a pitch. Combine that with music (remember New Order's World in Motion?) and it made for a rather decent summer. I ended up making myself several compilations on cassette (the "it's gonna get harder still before it gets easy" mix was a particular favorite), and all of it helped me take on the future with a vengeance...
This time around, I'm doing the same thing. Sure, the broadcasts are now in German (and it's kind of funny to hear the announcers pronounce the Latino and Asian names...) but the fervor is incredible; it's a wonderful experience to be in a country where literally everyone stops life in order to watch their team play. That said, I was equally touched by the recent video showing the fans reactions from all over the country that some guy made after the US made it through the first round. Very cool.
Meanwhile, the music is coming hard and fast. I put together a "how to stop the insanity" comp this past week in about 10 minutes; no surprise to me how quickly the tunes came to mind. Like all compilations I make (whether on cassette or mp3), it's simply expressing those thoughts which I wasn't able to communicate so easily through writing or conversation.
So, two laundry loads, 10 double espressos, and a bit of vacuuming later, this piece is done.
Indeed, it will still get harder before it gets easy, but the ball is rolling, and the beat goes on.
Here's me laughing at the insanity of it all. Keep the faith.
bryan
Soundtrack -
I'll pick the bands, you can pick the songs:
Therapy?, Seal, Dead or Alive, Exploited, Carter USM, My Vitriol, Nitzer Ebb, Flesh For Lulu, Leftfield, Alaska, The Who, The Wonderstuff, and the Jesus and Mary Chain
